Valentine’s Day is approaching quickly and with it comes a lot of complex feelings. Having a crush is a natural part of life and something that remains consistent throughout. How you choose to deal with those feelings is what makes or breaks the potential emotional turmoil.
WinkWink Boutique, a woman-owned and identity-inclusive sex shop, is well known for engaging with the community in exciting and sometimes provocative ways. During the month of February, their gallery space will house a new community exhibit: Crushed.
The exhibit celebrates “the joy and agony of crushes” through showcasing mementos such as journal entries, love notes and text messages submitted by Bellingham community members. Opening night of Crushed took place on Friday, Feb. 6 and included a love letter writing station as well as a giant game of MASH.
Having a crush brings forth many emotions, for better or for worse. The feelings people associate with crushes range from pure delight to absolute anguish; the displayed mementos cover just about every emotion in between.
“I think it’s so bittersweet, right? Because it drives us so crazy, but it also really makes us kind of feel like a kid again, especially as we get older,” said Daija Heyward, WinkWink’s event and outreach coordinator. “When you have that crush feeling, that giddy feeling, like you're kind of floating a little bit, like you’re weak in the knees — it can be really nice.”
Let’s call confessing your feelings for someone what it is: terrifying. Even so, you never know what a small act of bravery has the potential to lead to. However cliché, you must invite love into your life.
“Generally speaking, just giving … the feeling sense, and also giving people the opportunity to say ‘yes’ to you in some capacity — I think a lot of what you think is unrequited may not be that way, but people just don’t give the other person a chance to say yes or no,” said Lyra Klise, an attendee of Crushed.
Tiffany Geaudreau, WinkWink’s retail operations manager, and Lans Leedy have been together for just over three years. The pair submitted a handful of their love notes to be displayed in the exhibit, which are proof that there is hope beyond the initial infatuation stage of having a crush.
“We’re definitely in our second childhood. We’re, like, giddy teenagers right now,” Geaudreau said. “We know all the things to keep us safe and we know enough to get in good trouble.”
Many of the negative connotations around having a crush stem from the fear of unrequited feelings, but the general consensus about how to navigate potential rejection?
“Be creative, have fun with it. Because even if it’s not requited, you will have had a wonderful experience shooting your shot,” Geaudreau said.
Aside from supplying the goods to ensure a memorable Valentine’s Day, the folks at WinkWink Boutique will always give you their vote of confidence — as well as some trustworthy advice.
“Believe in yourself, talk to yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself how fucking cool you are,” Heyward said. “Listen to your favorite, like, sexy song that gives you all the confidence you might need to tap into your sexiest self and send that freaking text message.”
If confiding in friends or sex shop employees doesn’t soothe your anxiety, consulting a neutral third party may be beneficial.
“I would probably do a combination of encouraging them to take it slow, remind them that there is no right or best way to approach any kind of relationship, (and) to not be too hard on themselves about feeling awkward or worrying what they might say,” said Elizabeth Watt, a certified sex therapist with a doctorate in clinical psychology.
The experience of having a crush is an unspoken common denominator between most humans of all ages. It can be difficult to remember that you’re neither the first person nor the last person to have complicated feelings.
“I get so many people asking me if they’re normal, or if what they feel is okay. I often find myself telling people, like, there is no normal,” Watt said. “And as long as you feel safe enough, as long as you feel like there’s a mutual understanding between you and whoever’s participating, that whatever you’re feeling and whatever you’re wanting to explore is ultimately okay.”
Raleigh Nolan (she/they) is an opinion reporter for The Front. She is a Journalism major and a Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies minor. Raleigh is originally from Michigan and has lived in Bellingham since 2021. Since then, she has made many wonderful friends and adopted a sweet/evil kitty named Olive. Some of her favorite spots in Bellingham are Rumors Cabaret, Avellino Coffeehouse, and Colophon Cafe. You can reach her at raleighnolan.thefront@gmail.com.
